I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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