we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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