one might say we're banned from that church
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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