this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
These tits shall not be calmed
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