i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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