I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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