i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
