Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
a search helicopter?!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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