He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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