He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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