Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
