were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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