she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize