I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
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I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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