I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just google imaged poop.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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