Fuck appropriateness.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
