Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
