i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
