im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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