Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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