Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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