Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize