I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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