yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
