I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
