The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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