so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
