Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.