I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.