I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable