We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me