a bad idea.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.