dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.