These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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