i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
