i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
