You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
