Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
ttyl tear gas
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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