we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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