i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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