dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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