I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
