we have officially lost it.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he puts the penis in happiness.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
