i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
