Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
