We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
