she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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