College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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