I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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