Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I need water and some morals
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
