So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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