I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
