don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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