i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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