Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
