Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
