We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
