She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
