So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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