you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
