if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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