I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
