Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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