Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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